I often feel like apologising at the start of these posts: Sorry I've been gone a while, sorry I haven't replied to everyone.
However I'm trying to make a conscious effort to not apologise for taking care of myself; when I'm feeling low it's just not as possible for me to interact with the world how I'd like. Basic activities like making food, showering, and housework take up so much energy that all I have left I have to put into my recovery, engaging in things like exercise, meditation and therapy.
Things have been... well tough. I haven't needed hospitalisation again since my stay in February; but things have not improved as fast as I'd hoped. I am better in the sense that I am no longer suicidal, and I'm pushing forward, but the black dog seems to be keeping pace however fast I run.
Numerous time I've had few good days and think I'm coming out of this, but then am slapped back with another period of being disconnected and low. I